


Never

by Sariberri08



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Konoha - Freeform, Loss, naruto - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-11-28 18:09:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20970836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sariberri08/pseuds/Sariberri08
Summary: "The lies became her armor. They embraced her in his absence, filling in the cracks of her fragile facade. Much like the oversized jacket from childhood, she reverted to hiding herself from the world all over again. She shrunk away as more and more of her sanity became lost to the oblivion. When she did momentarily resurface in crushing moments of clarity, all she had were the lies she created to keep her company.





	Never

I'll be fine. At least that's what she told herself.

She told it to the smiling couple in the photos hung all about their home. She told it to the friends that constantly checked in at all hours of the damn day... over and over she told them. She told it to her ever perceptive sister with such deception that she could have her accepting the sky was any color but blue.

"Are you sure you're o-"

"Yep, Never better! We should have a girl night soon, Sakura-San!"

"Hey... how you fe-"

"Oh I'm feeling amazing Kiba-Kun! Went for a run this morning, and had a fantastic week at work."

They didn't know she had called in sick three days in a row to do absolutely nothing but sleep, or that the coffee she had was the only thing she had even attempted to stomach since yesterday. The lies became her armor. They embraced her in his absence, filling in the cracks of her fragile facade. Much like the oversized jacket from childhood, she reverted to hiding herself from the world all over again. She shrunk away as more and more of her sanity became lost to the oblivion. When she did momentarily resurface in crushing moments of clarity, all she had were the lies she created to keep her company. 

But the mirror didn't lie.

There was a veil of hopelessness that had settled in her eyes, casting out the light that used to reside there. Her cheeks hurt from forcing her smile, yet she did so anyways. Her moon-kissed skin was even paler than normal, creating a perfect pallet for the sleepless nights permanently etched in darkness beneath her lashes. She'd become more waifish than ever and in danger of wasting away entirely. Everything hurt. 

She never wanted any of this. When she bared her soul, she had done so under the guise it would stay pure and sheltered. The possibility that it could turn out anything less than beautiful was nothing more than a lone candle against a typhoon. Those weak sparks of doubt and trepidation found themselves extinguished before the rest of her had even had the chance to process the probability of such a thing. He had taken those worries and covered them in tandem with her heart. The words he spoke, always with such loving cadence, soothed and tamed her once flighty spirit in his compassionate hands. The ways he held her, a promise of devotion. His smile a reassurance of a forever. Her heart kept latching onto the subtle little way his finger lightly grazed her ear anytime he moved in for a kiss. She had been stupid to let herself become something dear and treasured. To love him was to know each and every star by name, and to lose him was to know you could never recall a single one. 

She refused to be saved anymore. She could barely muster up the little effort it took to speak. She didn't leave the safety of her covers, didn't try to get up to bathe. The thought of doing anything of normalcy was admitting acceptance, and that was something she simply could not do. She just wanted to forget.

"You want to forget?"

"More than anything."

She didn't need to see his forlorn stare, she already knew. She knew the way his bright eyes would be creased in sync with his brows, his mouth set in a helpless grimace. She refused.

She laid there in bed instead, facing the wall with eyes that saw everything and nothing at all. 

Her bed felt much too large, or perhaps she much too small. Her arms were searching, always reaching for him. The space he used to occupy was cold, and that alone sent her head reeling and her chest gasping for air.

"You need to get up, Hinata..." his voice echoed softly around the darken room. 

"Make me," she snapped back, falling deeper in the confines of the blankets and pillows that still just smelled of him. It would be okay, as long as she could just sleep a little bit longer, keep his scent on her tear soaked cheek maybe some more. 

"Hime..."

"D-Don't...." she gritted through her teeth, crying harder than she had before to hear that name,"don't you dare call me that..." 

In her fury she had risen. Staring into emptiness, the reality stinging so much more than she anticipated. 

He's not there, she fucking knows this. It doesn't make it hurt any less. She was there when it happened, there when it all fell apart. She knew she had been meant to see it, had to because there was no way she would have ever believed it otherwise. He had asked her to stay, had begged her to do so. That hadn't mattered. Like the child she still was, she ignored his reasoning and let it give way to more selfish intentions. She had rationalized that there was no other option than to be right by his side. He had been protecting her, the one that was told all her life she weak and would never be strong enough to amount to anything. It had to be her. He had changed that old way of thinking. He had planted hope in her, had been the sun to make her bloom. In him she had been redeemed, and she loved him for it.  
She prays to take it all back. If it would save her from this agonizing pain she would take back each and every happy memory just to have never known sorrow so immense. She regretted so much, had so many choices she wished to undo. The weight of words unspoken and all the mistakes of the past threaten to crush her whole. She blames herself, she can't stop apologizing.

"W-why... why..." she asks breathlessly to the darkness as she crumples within herself.

"Because you are everything to me. Now, it's time for you to get back up."

**Author's Note:**

> Feeling a bit morose I suppose if what I wrote is any indicator, but it takes all kinds of emotions to make up a day :) Sending love and happiness your way, and as always, thanks for the read ♥


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